im SO ANGRY
i literally have 0 talents, i cant draw, i cant dance, i cant sing, i cant write, im not good in anything besides eating lmao i look in the mirror and it makes me wanna kill myself because i dont think ive ever been this unhappy with my appearance since 2010 (basically the worst year of my life). this affects me so much that im really scared of coming back to school because i have this terrible feeling that im gonna be humiliated there!!! hahahahaha!!!! this thought haunts me and makes me physically sick.
thinking about ezra now makes my body hurts because i know im probably not going to meet him
the only friend ive had here that actually used to meet and talk and hug me is now leaving the city because of uni and i dont even have words to express how sad i am because of this. i didnt even talk to him about it because im really ashamed of feeling like this when i should be feeling nothing but happiness for him. i mean i am happy for him, of course i am, but its just hard, y'know
i just wanted to be 18 already and in uni meeting new people and not crying everyday for the most stupid reasons
my goal this year is to study like crazy to see if time passes faster
thanks a lot
alexiachong posted this